The Real Years

00:19 a.m.

Valentine's day has passed and it passed well, since i spent it with my friends eating sushi in the evening, went to fashion bazaar called Euphoria Project and had dessert at Jill in Market Bar. #clothesoverboys #dessertintheend #hadfun. Anyway the bazaar was not that good, i don't know why. but the dinner was perfect. i didn't eat sushi for awhile and i kinda miss it. but believe me, because i am not trying to exaggerate the situation here, sushi is worth it, because before i went to eat sushi, i already had lunch. but i ate sushi anyway because sushi is worth the fullness. i don't mind spare one side of my stomach to fill it with sushi. hehehe.

by the way, let's pray for Sinabung and Kelud. May people there are given the power and strength to survive, and May God always bless them. Amen.

Oh rio introduced me to one new easy-listening song. such a shame i could not find the lyric, but thanks to soundcloud, i can hear it every time i am online. this song comes from Years and Years titled Real. Since i adore the video clip model (read: Ben Wishaw(p.s. he is not only cute with the beard on)), but it is bigger than that. i like this song. hehehe. yeay! another new catchy song.

00:44 a.m.

Oh, love, i will let you go. 

Little Credit For Myself

Hi everyone who pass my blog, yesterday i celebrated my 20th birthday at Segarra with my beloved classmates. And i really love the gifts they gave me. And not only that i also appreciate the prayer they sent to me. I am really blessed to be surrounded by loving and caring friends this year. And i dont know what to say but Thank God you let me step into another higher phase in my life and i try to make it worth it and....

I guess that's it.

Such a nice birthday lunch-dinner

Yup. They did change my name.

"Dream as if you will live forever, and live as if you will die today." - James Dean

i am not in the mood when i write this post. I dont know, because there is a time when i was really not in the mood but i still can write a post in my blog, but this time is different. i am just mad, maybe. i dont know, because as i said in my previous posts, life is being ridiculous. life let me drowning even i know i can swim but drowning is only matter of time. like now. i just found out i can't take my design bachelor degree in Indonesia. And that is happening. That means i cant graduate 3 years effectively. And that means i should re-arrange my dreams (again). Paris or Milan is a good choice, but i cant let my parents suffer more. The schools are so expensive unless i can get scholarships which sounds impossible.

For now, all i can think about is my assignments. They are already sucking my souls. They left nothing but emptiness. Okay, i am being too dramatic. But they are.

Have a good holiday, people.

I Thank Universe

Hello everyone, this is good day to lie on your bed, isn't it? Anyway, i start thinking my life crumbled somehow. I dont know why but i feel that way. Thinking that something that happens should not happen. Wondering many other options i may choose and see another results.

Second anyway is when you realise that you will become someone you hate. Or at least you have something in common with them then it makes you hate them more. I have been there. I know my blog is not the place i can spread hatred but i do it anyway.

I hated her. I had no reason why. I just didn't like her breathing or talking or anything. I just didn't want to see her face, but we were at the same school, so yah.. that was my problem. I didn't know if she knew i hated her or she didn't but she gave me a smile. The fake one of course. How did i know? Because it was the same smile i always gave to her. After that, i knew we have something in common. Something i tried to ignore. Then slowly i tried to understand her. That was weird because i told myself i don't like her. But universe was very ridiculous. It was like i could read her mind saying everything about her. Well, not everything. I saw her teasing a boy with his crush. (You will not understand this people, just stop trying to figure out who). She had crush on him, but he had crush on her friend. (See? It is difficult to understand.) It was like i could read her mind or i simply saw her eyes. That wasn't a moment when i can change my mind and stop hating her. Or maybe my hatred decreased. Maybe now you are wondering why. I tell you why. Because i have been there. Teasing my friend and her crush but inside me, i hid something. I know her eyes told me. I could be wrong, and she could dodge my statement, but i knew. Deep down in my heart, i wished it wasn't true because she deserves better.

And then, she dated my friend. That wasn't good at all. This was the moment i knew nothing about her. I didn't dislike their relationship, i just thought he could deserve better and i know i was wrong. Because you can't judge people's relationship and then decide who deserve who. You are the small part of universe, you have no right judging couples.
I knew bothering universe and other people can make my life crumbled as well, so i stopped.  I stopped giving a damn. People thought i was jealous. That is ridiculous, even now i am smiling when thinking about that possibility. I was not.

Then she changed. Literally. Become someone that worth a friendship. Become someone different. I just can't believe that (in a good way, of course). I am glad.

And i could not believe myself when i said sorry. I know she glazed. Maybe she didn't know i would apologise or else, but i did. Then everything in my life raised. It was the same situation when the good guy beat the bad guy in the hero movie. It wasn't about me, because the one who change is her. Everything after that is just universe's plan. It was like an automatic movement when a change from someone became a trigger to anything better.

I am not saying we are best-friends, i am not that confident, but i am glad when people ask about her i can say, "yes she is my friend."

That is a wrap.

Hello, School!

Get sick is never be my favorite. This allergic should be healed, i guess. By the way, yesterday i attended Jakarta Fashion and Food Festival 2013 in Hotel Harris, Kelapa Gading. I am sorry i cant post the photos now, but they were quite amazing. And my school just started in two weeks but assignments are already chasing me. Well... wish me luck. Have a good week, everyone.

xx

Basic Cure

I basically don't know what to write here, i am just staring at my another page and suddenly be sad of nothing. I don't know why my tumblr is dominated by sad posts. They sometimes suit me or mostly because i know the movie or the quote from some where else. They say that we will post something that related to us. They are mostly true because we unconsciously like something that has relation with us. Well, it is not a problem, is it?

My latest addiction is Lego House from Ed Sheeran. He might look very much alike ninja turtle, but he is a genius. How many people can genius-ly make song that inspired from children's toy, like.... lego for example. Right? And add a light word like 'pastry' to the deepest song i have ever heard. And i wonder how he made a sentence like this one; "and the worst thing in life come free to us.." 
that is the most desperate sentence i have ever known.

I will never forget when i actually repeat the A-Team from Ed Sheeran over and over again. Then i found myself cry and said to myself that i don't want to die alone. Well, i never knew that i am 'that' dramatic. But yes, i am.

I realise that every time i saw my own posts in my own blog, i feel like what the hell i have been writing about? Why would i share eveything to strangers? And suddenly i want to delete my blog. But i blog for reasons. Reasons i cant tell. It basically because i found that i need to be heard, i guess.

xx

Regret, Universe, and Several Things

I just can't believe that my holy-day is almost over. two weeks is just not enough. i need more. anyway i just want to say, i hate living in regret. the worst part in regret is that you already knew you will got better result when you chose another choice, but you ended up chose the wrong one. Well, they won't call regret a regret for no reason. But in life, i regret some things. The first regret in my life is when i stayed in my elementary school for a year without my cousin. I ended up feeling lonely. I started hating school. I hated to go to school in the morning without my cousin. Yeah, this cousin is like my sister. since we were in the same age and used to be in the same class. And when she moved to another elementary school, i chose to stay. I thought i will be okay because i was old enough to play without her. And then, that worst feeling of regret came. I knew that i could go with her to the new school, but i didn't. When i was teenager (because now i am not feeling like a 17 years old teenager anymore) many regrets came and i just...you know i swallowed them all. I didn't give a damn or anything because i thought i only lived once, don't regret things. Then now i am almost 20 years old and regretting what i have regretted in the pasts. They say: what people regret the most is to something they didn't do. That is quite right. So what i am saying is choose wisely. You might already knew that the choice you choose is wrong but you didn't listen carefully. If i am trying to be honest to myself (it might sounds offensive for some people, i would like to apologize first) i love living here. i love my college life. My college life  don't suck. I am exhausted, but that is worth it. That feels so good to be accepted or feel belong to somewhere. Maybe i don't get the best scores but i live my life fully (since i only live once).
I have been thinking about my future life partner. Questions about when and why and how will i meet him is not answered yet. You can call me lame or whatever but i would like to know a guy that will spend the rest of his life with me. Is he good? Is he smoker? Will he be a good father? Will he cheat on me? Will i bore him? I am not 17 years old anymore. I am not looking for a boyfriend. Because the more i think, the more i worry, the more i can't decide, the more i think Universe is making fun of me. But this morning, when my Dad talked about his job with my Mom, i realized that there are many other things to worry about. Finding job is easy, the hardest part is when you have to get one. So the conclusion is my life partner will find his own way to me. I just....I just need to wait, i guess.


xx

I am Not Don Juan

"You must stop talking to yourself. Every one of us does that. We talk about our world. In fact, we maintain our world with our internal talk. Whenever we finish talking to ourselves, the world is always as it should be. We re-new it, we kindle it with life, we uphold it with our internal talk. Not only that, but we also choose our paths as we talk to ourselves. Thus we repeat the same internal talk over and over until the day we die. A warrior is aware of this and strives to stop his talking. This is the last point you have to know if you want to live like a warrior."

 - Carlos Castaneda, The Teaching of Don Juan


i just can't. she - other part of me - completes me.

Back In Town

Omnivox sucks. Or it is just me. Why could not i change my password? Why Vox? Why Omni? Those are my marks that you keep. Give it to me. Now.

......

ANYWAY
I wont blame omnivox, okay? It did things right. I just screw things. I forgot my password then when i want to change my password, my perm code (i dont even know what perm code is) is invalid. Man... You tested me.

For the second ANYWAY i will tell you that i spent my half holiday back to Malang. Re-fresh my brain before my next semester. Things were going very well because i spent my days with high school best friends. Basically i just hang out in their campus and chat. hehehe

Then i meet R. No, chill people, this post will not be as cheesy as my other gloomy posts, but it might be sad. hehe

For first impression, i told him that i was back in Malang for a week. You know, i just cant keep it for myself. I didnt have any intention to tell him before, but i was telling him anyway. Then we met, nicely. We didn't talk about pasts, we talked about present time. We talked about college life. Then he said, "How can i end up being here?" Becaue he drove from Surabaya to Malang at night. Well, if i were him i would think twice. Wait, i will tell you the reasons why he kindly drove many miles to Malang?
1. He wanted to watch Iron Man 3 (i slightly thought than there was no the premiere of Iron Man 3 in Surabaya)
2. He just wanted to go to Malang.

We watched the movie the next day. Honestly, i already watched the movie with my friends. But, he only came to watch the movie with me, i didnt want to disappoint him by watching another movie.

It was very good to meet you, R. It was too good. I miss the way you smile. It was nice yet painful to see you came yesterday. Because the fact (once again) that you are no longer mine slap me on the face. The fact that you can easily find someone else tear me apart. The fact that i am 'that' replaceable, that just hurts, you know.

Anyway R, thanks :)

Hello Again Matt

i dont remember when exactly i start adoring Matt but i remember when i watched Long Hair by The Drowners i just realised that he is so....i dont know, what we call cute guy sings a good song in band...charming? Yeah, sort of. Plus, i love his smile. I just love the way he smiles. Oh My God, i think i am in love. Oh, i almost forget to say thanks. Thanks for making me adore him. lol
 

What Breaks My Heart Easily

1. Love songs
2. Photos
3. Memories about you that goes streaming in my head like black and white movie
4. Sad quote
5. Your tweets
6. Your status
7. Your smile. (Makes me realise, that smile aint mine, anymore.)
8. Romantic movies. (Makes me wish i have that kind of love story with you)
9. The way you act that "you are really okay without me" or "Your life is so much better without me" or "Losing me aint your big deal"
10. You have  new crush not very long after break up with me show me that "i am that replaceable." Yes, that hurts.

Fashion Oh-So-Phenomena

Hello again people..
I am exactly in busy week. Assignments, quiz and mid-term test is on process now. But i always love blogging, you know. hehehe.
I also am working on my Fashion Phenomena's final project. You might be wrong desribe my project. You might think i am working on dress or designing or making collections for fashion show on last week in first smester. Unfortunately, no people. Fashion phenomena itself means history of fashion. Fashion itself is cycle so, the purpose of this lecture is knowing the basic form of style. At that time i dont know that prehistoric era (yes, that nenek moyang thingy) could contribute something in fashion world, but in fact, they did. The furs, Hair clip, One-shoulder dress, they all came from prehistoric era.
Then, Sumerian (the name for Mesopotamia's people) also contribute something then Egypt then then then then...
Okay, i should go back to my assignments. Enjoy you evening beautiful people, i love you..

xx

Hit By Fact

Hello again Monday. If you are little bit confuse by link below categories at the left column, dont worry, those are only stories i write in this blog. I categorize them again in one title, so if you wanna read them continuesly, it is easier to look for. Thank you :)

Anyway, Paula Meliana came to my college today and she told all her experiences in fashion industry. If you dont know who Paula is, she is a fashion designer for Bridal Wedding Gallery named Eva Bun. Eva Bun itself is family business that owned by Paula's mother. As a daughter she continues the business.

What i got from her presentation today was not as fabulous as when i first thought about being a fashion designer. She really worked hard to being known as now.

Another thing is Paula never wanted to be a fashion designer. Her mom asked her to be one.

"Because 10 years ago, Fashion Designer was not as fancy as now and that was expensive. But my mom asked me, so, i continued my study in one of Design Institute in Los Angeles. At the first time, i wanted to be an architect." She said.

And she also said that it wasnt easy to market her collections and she needed to get link as many as possible.

"My mom also started this business from zero." She added.

Beside her explanation, she also told us about media, and how to promote our clothing line, for example. She said dont trust too much in media, because in one time they can change their mind about us.

If i can make conclusion to her presentation today i will say this is the bitter yet inspiring story. She made it, i think. I mean, beside her luckyness to have business to continue and not to start, she really wants to prove everyone that she can do it.

She also invited to have fashion show in Jakarta Fashion Week. She is good, isnt she?

Well, people, if i can add another thing, honestly, what i really got from her is you can be anything you desperately want IF you want to work harder than anyone, IF you want to pray harder than everyone, and IF you have more passion than everyone. Show people you do your job ebcause you are happy doing it, not because you are asked. Goodluck!

xx






 

There is No Money-Rain

What i love about Job Task Lecture is you will learn about your-dream-job descriptions. Like everything is possible here. You can be anything you want in fashion industry.

If someone said in zillion years ago (that i dont care anymore), you just cant get into this circle. A circle that only few people can get. Nope. Or being underestimated by everyone who really dont know.  You can say to them right now, "Be gone people. I will stay on my path and achieving all dreams i ever dreamt."

Fashion Editor, Fashion Photographer, Fashion Designers. I am talking to myself like what are you waiting for? This is what you really want. Like Oh My GOD! I am living in my own dream. 

Here, actually, i just want to say, dare to dream. You just dont know after you try. And while you are trying, just do your best because best works gain best results. You want it, you work for it. If my mom says "There is no Money-Rain." That is totally right, people. 

Maybe now if i want to work as intern in one company as assistant-fashion editor or assitant-fashion photographer, i dont run for money, i do run for my happiness, my passion. That is it. And this makes me want to have one more dream to achieve. I, someday, really to want have a company that gives people a chance to have experiences to work. I mean, if you have any experience, you will be appreciated better, wont you?

Or i will open a clothing line, the simple one, but still lovable. This is my old dream and it is still there, in my mind. I will work for it, people. Watch over me.

Oh last words, it is never too late to start doing something you love. You can be everything you want. Just dare to dream. Then, make it happen. Goodluck for everyone here!

xx

We Were In Love

Curhat boleh dikit dong ya. Nggak banyak yang liat ini kan? Janji deh cuman sekali ini.

Boleh dong kangen mantan. Gak dosa kannnnn?
Gak heran, for me, forgetting someone is not an easy job so this ex gonna need more time because he was the best until this time. I already said to him that only two guys are better than him. But I cant go for them or one of them. They are just...not you, Ex. This is my true reason. They are not you. It is not because i cant date them or something, but only because they are not you. They are not as special as you, if i can say.
They are not touching higher level of humbleness, like you. And they cant even beat your sweetness. I love your eyes, and they dont even have yours. And you made drawing better than anyone. And your smile beat every beautiful things around me, like you absorb all my attention. I love your tan skin. I always made a joke about your tan skin but the truth is i just adore your skin. I love your scent. I think i love almost everything.
And i miss how we shared love. How we loved the same things, photography, drawing, music. Simpler than you think but it built me, somehow. Built this me in the present time. And thanks to you.
I am not asking you to stay or even go back together, we just cant, remember? You cant. I appreciate it and i will go somewhere. Plus, we are not going to look for each other or meeting in the future so you dont need to worry, you are save from me.


xx R. I am just missing you. Missing us.

Best Guy-Friend

And when you have bestfriend that you dont need to shy to tell everything even your great sin. Have a good life, bestfriend! :)

A Little Time Before Catching Busway

Hello again. This post is made before i go to LaSalle today. Well, yes, i enjoy my study this far. but i dont know how far. Friends are still nice and very friendly. And i dont know until when, hehe.
Now 7:38 am and i will go to catch busway at 8:00 am.

I really want to upload some photos but i dont prepare them yet so next post gonna be a photo post. I really dont know what to write but i always love writing.
Cao

xx
Anggi Lupitasari

This How Dreams Started

Today was my second day in LaSalle College International as freshmen. I enjoyed it this far. Many good people yet so beautiful there. I mean, they are like flawless and effortlessly beautiful, you know. And about the lecturer, they are all good, oh no! They are the best! I really enjoy every second studying there. Beside, i love how school looks. Cute things put everywhere.

If, someday in 3 years i say "i am tired of all this" i will look at this post and many posts before this so i can remember again how i really want this kind of life.

Goodluck myself!!!!

Graduation Day!

Maybe this will be very late, but i post them anyway. My graduation day! yeay! Well, at last i graduate and go back home (i dont know it will be the saddest moment). Anyway, thanks bestest! i heart you all! *kiss*

(Now playing: Lembayung Bali - Saras Dewi)

A Love Struck

Sunday at Tiffany's

That girl (i forgot her name). She had an imaginary friend named Michael. He gone when the girl celebrate her 10th birthday.  And however he comes back. When the girl becomes a woman. When the girl has the most perfect life. He comes as a guy. Handsome one, actually.
Fortunately, they fall in love. She left her wedding and go find Michael. And at last, they live happily ever after.


I have no moral value here, but i love making people realized that God had prepared someone for you. The best one. He or she will perfectly fit to you.