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Friday, June 7, 2013

I Thank Universe

Hello everyone, this is good day to lie on your bed, isn't it? Anyway, i start thinking my life crumbled somehow. I dont know why but i feel that way. Thinking that something that happens should not happen. Wondering many other options i may choose and see another results.

Second anyway is when you realise that you will become someone you hate. Or at least you have something in common with them then it makes you hate them more. I have been there. I know my blog is not the place i can spread hatred but i do it anyway.

I hated her. I had no reason why. I just didn't like her breathing or talking or anything. I just didn't want to see her face, but we were at the same school, so yah.. that was my problem. I didn't know if she knew i hated her or she didn't but she gave me a smile. The fake one of course. How did i know? Because it was the same smile i always gave to her. After that, i knew we have something in common. Something i tried to ignore. Then slowly i tried to understand her. That was weird because i told myself i don't like her. But universe was very ridiculous. It was like i could read her mind saying everything about her. Well, not everything. I saw her teasing a boy with his crush. (You will not understand this people, just stop trying to figure out who). She had crush on him, but he had crush on her friend. (See? It is difficult to understand.) It was like i could read her mind or i simply saw her eyes. That wasn't a moment when i can change my mind and stop hating her. Or maybe my hatred decreased. Maybe now you are wondering why. I tell you why. Because i have been there. Teasing my friend and her crush but inside me, i hid something. I know her eyes told me. I could be wrong, and she could dodge my statement, but i knew. Deep down in my heart, i wished it wasn't true because she deserves better.

And then, she dated my friend. That wasn't good at all. This was the moment i knew nothing about her. I didn't dislike their relationship, i just thought he could deserve better and i know i was wrong. Because you can't judge people's relationship and then decide who deserve who. You are the small part of universe, you have no right judging couples.
I knew bothering universe and other people can make my life crumbled as well, so i stopped.  I stopped giving a damn. People thought i was jealous. That is ridiculous, even now i am smiling when thinking about that possibility. I was not.

Then she changed. Literally. Become someone that worth a friendship. Become someone different. I just can't believe that (in a good way, of course). I am glad.

And i could not believe myself when i said sorry. I know she glazed. Maybe she didn't know i would apologise or else, but i did. Then everything in my life raised. It was the same situation when the good guy beat the bad guy in the hero movie. It wasn't about me, because the one who change is her. Everything after that is just universe's plan. It was like an automatic movement when a change from someone became a trigger to anything better.

I am not saying we are best-friends, i am not that confident, but i am glad when people ask about her i can say, "yes she is my friend."

That is a wrap.

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