Morning Frustration

Good morning everyone! So in the last two post i mentioned that i am out of twitter because i forgot my password, but i just remembered that i downloaded twitter app in my laptop so i am good. I am still in the twitter (occasionally). I have internship interview this afternoon. I really want to get this one, wish me luck, okay? Btw the scores are out and i am glad i passed all the subject. This semester had been very fun and thrilling. I will miss the whole chaotic situation, tho since i will face the hardest one less than two weeks *screaming internally*.

And i realised that i can not change my avatar via twitter app in my laptop. WHY?!

Hello Semi Permanent Accessories!

Good evening everyone! So this morning i just dyed my hair. Not all of them tho but that was my first time and Thank God it went well. The color was not as i expect but its fine. I should choose the lighter color next time.

Oh and i read Supernova for the second time. The story is still mind blowing. It doesnt lose its magic. 

Okay, bye! 

xx

Out of Twitter

Good evening people! So i am trying to enjoy my short holiday by doing nothing at home (that sucks btw) but i am fine. It would be better if there is wifi, tho. 

Anyway, i forgot my twitter's password so what i mean by that is i am no longer active in twitter. I tried to remember, tho but that's not what i do best. So if you want to know that i post something here, you can subscribe me (on your right). Or i will let you know via instagram. 

I guess that's it. So have a nice sleep. 

xx

25 Things You Don't Know About Me

Since i have many times to post anything i like, i decided to tell you 25 things about me you don't know yet.

1. I have tendency talking to myself. I do it every time i have stories that i can not share with my friends.
2. I love spending time alone, just me and my mind.
3. I often think that my metaphor in my stories is too exaggerating and not common.
4. I am always sad. When i am not sad, i decide to hold it back, because i agreed to the theory when you laugh very hard, someone will punish you and makes you cry afterwards.
5. I love seaweed.
6. I think people often mistaken my attention. I only care to people who matters to me. That's all.
7. I obviously over think everything.
8. I decided to be single during my study at LaSalle because i just can not risk my future. I just cant.
9. Don't bae me.
10. I need guling when i sleep. I feel more save with it.
11. Sometimes i cry myself to sleep, because it's easier, tho.
12. My ideal weight is 48 kg.
13. I have trifophobia.
14. I hate chemistry and physic.
15. I don't like being mocked. (who does?)
16. I love guys in neat and clean shirt, sweaters, and wearing glasses.
17. I am nerd. (Isn't that obvious?)
18. I love wearing sweater.
19. I have tendency to collect notebooks.
20. Evita Nuh is my favorite kid. Ever.
21. I hate dentists.
22. I am a phlegmatic melancholic kind of person.
23. I love earl grey tea. It's so relaxing.
24. I am allergic to dusts.
25. I don't fancy coffee.

Today's Thoughts

So today i went to LaSalle to ask about my internship plan during the break, but they said no company has replied their email yet (hiks). I think i am not good enough, or maybe my portfolio is not that impressive. Or they are just busy. I don't know. But i think it's because the first or the second assumption.

I decided to stay in Jakarta, just in case one of the companies replied to my internship's proposal. Anyway, this evening was very nice since i spent a very high-quality time with my busy cousin (she is a medical student, so yeah) and we had great time talking about everything. We had late lunch at TomTom and went to bookstore because she needed new marker for taking notes. Since we share different spring break schedule, she has many tests wait for her while I have nothing to do (it's spring break, tho).

And when i was in the bookstore, i just didn't want to get out because the comfortable feeling i felt there and because i was surrounded by books. It made my day, somehow it lighten up my feeling, which is good. Oh! I am also very excited when i knew that Raline Shah will be Rana in Supernova: Ksatria, Putri, dan Bintang Jatuh. I cant wait to watch the movie though she still in reading-script phase. I hope she will do great, because it's my favorite sequel; when life can beautifully overlaps the other. When somehow one of us could make stories about the others while they are in the same universe. That's too mind-blowing. If that really happens, i am wondering what do they think when they create me? Can i re-create the story?

Is it just me or most of movies from Indonesia are getting lame and lame?

Ah, nobody cares either.

Story of The Day

Hi everyone! I am officially done with 5th semester and i do hope we all can pass. So i have much time to 'gelindingan' at home tomorrow, i will make worth of it. I have plan to dye my hair and i already chose the color, and i cant be more excited because this is my first time (yeay!). I dont want it to be typical actually. But i am afraid that it wont go well (hiks), so it's best not expecting too much. I also have a plan to go to Malang, eating my favorite gelato, chilling out, but i think i cant because i currently have project with friends and the schedule is on next week. Since it's not for assignment, i do it voluntarily and i want to enjoy this (i really hope that i can). The latest news is i am still single and not really happy, lol just kidding. I am happy but sometimes i feel lonely, tho. And for my blog banner, yup, i did change it and i am not listening to your complaints hehehe. I am just very indecisive and not usually making any call. I got confused. But i love this one, tho (I also said that to my previous banners).

My current favorite songs mostly come from Tulus. Maybe it's kind of late because he did not put this song either in his first or second album and this song makes me fall in love. 

Biarkan aku memelukmu, tanpa memelukmu
Mengagumimu dari jauh..

Not So Done

Good morning!! I am about to do sales management presentation today wish me luck ya hehe. Anyway, i think i am sick. My head gets dizzy and throat drives me crazy. But this is the last day, so i hope i will manage it well. It's not the right time to make a post, but i just cant help it, I am in the middle of stress so i need to release it somehow....by forgetting it.

I just want to lay down. 

Satu Siang di Bulan April

Suatu siang yang berbeda. Mungkin karena hujan memutuskan untuk berhenti sesaat, atau mungkin matahari memutuskan untuk tidur siang, karena yang aku lihat adalah awan-awan bekumpul indah menutupinya. Atau mungkin karena petrichor yang aku hirup. Atau mungkin karena ada kamu sekarang di dekatku. Mungkin 'di dekatku' bukan kata yang tepat karena kamu baru saja mengenalku, tidak sampai satu jam yang lalu. Tapi kamu disini, satu ruangan denganku. Senyum puasnya saat melihat foto hasil jepretannya entah kenapa membuatku senang. Caranya memegang kamera, caranya membungkuk untuk menyesuaikan gerakku di depan kertas putih. Caranya melihatku, saat aku mencari binar matanya saat memotretku. Rasanya indah. Mungkin akan sulit dideskripsikan, tapi ada rasa hangat yang naik dari perut dan nyaris membuatku tersedak. Sebahagia itu.

Kemudian ia melipat lengan kemeja panjangnya sampai siku, mengambil kacamatanya untuk melihat lebih jelas, dan menghampiriku. "Capek nggak?" Aku tercenung ditanya begitu. Aku lupa kemana semua lelah itu pergi. Mungkin dimakan semua rasa senang yang sekarang membuat kupu-kupu memutuskan untuk terbang di dalam perutku. "Nggak, kok." Jawabku akhirnya. "Bilang ya kalo capek, entar istirahat dulu." Katanya lagi dengan senyumnya. Lalu dia kembali ke posisi semula. Ke jarak semula diantara kami. 

Satu jam kemudian pemotretan selesai dan aku menunggu saat yang tepat untuk memulai percakapan. Tapi tidak ada kata-kata yang keluar dari mulutku. "Kak, makasih ya.." Kata perempuan yang menjadikan aku model untuk bajunya siang ini. "Iya sama-sama.." Aku tersenyum karena sumringah yang ia tunjukkan saat melihat hasil fotonya. "Yang pinter fotografernya, kok." Kataku lagi sambil tertawa. Aku melihat dia menoleh ke arah kami setelah mengepulkan asap rokoknya. Itu rokok terkahir dari kotak keduanya. Dia hanya tidak tahu, senyumnya lebih candu dari rokok yang ia hisap.   

"Belom dijemput?" Tanyanya sambil mengambil kursi untuk duduk di sampingku. Aku menggeleng. "Ngerokok nggak?" Dia bertanya lagi. Aku kembali menggeleng. Lalu dia mematikan puntung rokoknya. Dari jarak sedekat ini, aku bisa mencium wangi rokoknya dengan jelas. Dari jarak sedekat ini, ada hela nafas miliknya yang aku hitung, entah kenapa. Dari jarak sedekat ini, ada bulir keringat yang ingin aku seka. Dari jarak sedekat ini, ada tangan yang ingin aku genggam. Lalu tiba-tiba dia tergelak sesaat setelah melihat sesuatu di ponselnya. Dia melihat wajah penasaranku, lalu bertanya "Mau liat? Ini lucu banget!" Dia kembali tertawa sambil menyodorkan ponselnya. 

"Hahahahahahahahah..." Aku tergelak melihat gambar bayi memakai hoodie menggerak-gerakkan tangannya. Kocak. Yang tidak lucu adalah saat aku melihat siapa yang mengirim gambar itu. Orang dengan kontak nama 'Cantik'. Kecuali ada orang tua yang benar-benar menamai anaknya Cantik, aku yakin ini bukan nama aslinya. Ini yang namanya panggilan sayang. Aku bahkan bisa merasakan rasa hangat itu hilang, digantikan rasa dingin dari punggung. Ada kecewa yang rasanya seperti digigit semut. Nyelekit, kalau orang jawa bilang. Dan rasa itu kecewa itu permanen. 

"Duluan ya," Dia bersiap-siap membawa tas hitam berisi kamera miliknya. Aku tersenyum saat dia melambaikan tangan, berjalan ke arah mobil sedan berwarna silver. Saat dia membuka pintu, aku melihat perempuan di depan kemudi tersenyum kangen sambil memeluknya. Oh, mungkin itu yang dia panggil Cantik.  

:(

Just Lea Being Funny

So, i am in the middle of the making of my portfolio (i should have done this weeks ago but, whatever) and i think i wouldn't have a long good sleep tonight because it's already 11 p.m and it not done, yet. Anyway, thanks for the feedback about the brand my friend and i had done. So, i have this question box on the right side of my blog that has caption 'curiosity kills cat, so yeahh' if you are curious about me or just want to ask me random questions, just hit me. I accept all kind of questions, tho. Okay then.

this is funny enough, i guess. 

The Label

SAMA THE LABEL

Talent
Putri Sulistyowati

Photographer
Bintang Adamas

Today was our final presentation for Managing subject which in process we created brand named SAMA the label. The label that fully represents our ideas about one of Indonesian heritage. Yesterday, we did our photoshoot at studio in Kuningan with the very talented Kak Putri. And this part of this project i enjoyed the most. And photo credit was already taken by our fellow photographer. He did great, actually. Our lecturer liked the results. Photo above was my personal creation, since i enjoyed doing that too much compared to anything else. So, i guess that's it. I should post the photos another time but another assignment already wait for me.

Good evening!
xx

Sisa Cronut

Kalau nanti kamu sempat menyelipkan aku di dalam tumpukan jadwal penatmu, mungkin aku akan tahu rasanya diperhatikan. 

Kalau nanti pesan singkatmu datang setiap pagi sebelum aku bangun, mungkin senyumku akan lebih sumringah, mungkin hari yang aku jalani akan lebih baik. 

Kalau nanti kamu sadar aku disini, mungkin hubungan ini akan baik-baik saja. 

Kalau nanti Arin pergi, apa rasanya akan sama jika aku yang pergi? 

***

Aku menoleh ke atas, menemukan Astrid memandangiku dengan kacamata kotaknya. "Hai.." Aku membalas sapaan Astrid sambil tersenyum tipis. "Boleh duduk sini?" Astrid duduk sebelum aku bisa memutuskan untuk membuatnya kembali ke mejanya. Aku membiarkan hening berada di antara kami. Aku tidak menghitung tepatnya berapa menit, tapi cronut milikku hampir habis saat dia memutuskan untuk memulai percakapan.

"Kamu masih sering ketemu Aryo?" 

Begini amat obrolannya. Batinku. 

"Aku udah lama nggak ketemu dia. Kenapa emang?" Aku memutuskan untuk berbohong. Entah Aryo sudah pamit atau tidak tapi faktanya jika Astrid tahu tentang jalan jalan soreku bersama Aryo, dia tidak akan duduk di depanku mencoba untuk tidak memukulku dengan vas kecil berisi bunga mawar putih yang menjadi jarak antara kami. 

"Aku sayang Aryo, Rin."

Aku mendongak dan menemukan raut wajah lelah dari balik kacamatanya. Aku melihat genangan air mata di pelupuknya yang siap jatuh. Aku melihat rasa marah yang berusaha ia luapkan kepadaku. Aku melihatnya jelas sekarang. 

"Kamu tunangannya, kan? Aku kaget malah kalau kamu nggak sayang." 

Dia tersenyum. 

"Loh, Rin? Kamu lagi disini juga?" Tiba-tiba Aryo sudah ada di depan mejaku, siap untuk duduk. 

Kami berdua diam. "Astrid kenalin ini Arin.." Aryo memperkenalkan Astrid kepadaku. "Ini tunanganku, Rin." Dan aku kembali merasakan sakit menusuk yang familiar. 

"Iya, tadi udah kenalan kok." Aku memaksa untuk tersenyum. 

"Yaudah yuk, cronut-nya habis ternyata. Pindah Monolog aja." Aryo menggamit tangan Astrid dan mengajaknya pergi. "Bye, Rin." Aryo pamit sambil tersenyum.

"Bye.."

Aku menghela nafas panjang. 

Lalu yang aku dengar setelah itu adalah rintik hujan sore di Jakarta yang bukan hanya membawa lembab tapi juga lelah. Lelah karena merasa 'disembunyikan'. Lelah karena kami tidak akan kemana-mana. Lelah karena semua tidak akan pernah baik-baik saja. 

Ting!

Text Received. 

Maaf, Rin. 

Aku kembali menghela nafas panjang.

also read Bukan Kebetulan

Perfect Getaway

Last week my family and i went Jogja because there were days off and we wanted to have family holiday together (yeah, each of us been busy for months so we had to skip family holiday). Anyway, the holiday went great. I enjoyed every moment i had there because when i got back, i would face pile of assignments which what i am doing now. I don't have time talking about where i went or what i have visited, but what i realised is you need that kind of vacation, you know. I mean, go away somewhere doesnt hurt, it refreshes my mood somehow. I should do that another time.

And by the way i am currently listening to Rather Be from Clean Bandit. It is not only good for cardio but also great when you do your assignment. Just check it if somehow you're curious. And i just realised that kue cubit is delicious.

xx

I Take My Words Back

Hello guys, today has been very very chaotic. Well, i am not talking about a gigantic robot destroyed Jakarta but believe me i am exhausted. Remember when in my previous post, i told you that i had Visual Presentation subject this semester, and i said that subject was okay. Guess what, i change my mind. It's not that okay. Ugh. Anyway, i am in the middle of doing my business portfolio. Wish me luck. 

Good night.