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Thursday, March 27, 2014

Nobody Said It Was Easy

Hey you guys, I have been busy with final assignments and projects. Since i got Visual Presentation subject this semester, and honestly this is not as stressful as Store Layout subject last semester (at least i dont post something that represents how depressed i am) so i am fine, i guess. But, frankly, i am exhausted. I am just - i don't know - i am fine, i am happy and glad but exhausted. I had to crawl to the bed last night because i didn't only break a leg, i broke my back. In the afternoon, yesterday, we went to Mayestik to ordered some labels for our brand (wait for it!) and looked for imitation leather to produce our garments (if you guys know people who sell imitation leather, please kindly email me, or simply leave your comment in this post) but there was no one selling imitation leather we looked for. Oh, we also bought another type of tenun ikat, and i kind of liked it very much. omg, long post! hehehe. Anyway i happen to enjoy new meals in Serba Food Restaurant. Sounds exaggerating, but it has the best fried water spinach in town. You should try. And it's also affordable so yah.. hehehe.
And at 3.00 am in the morning i woken up by drama comedy titled The Crazy Ones that starred by Robin Williams. I was half-awaken but i heard their conversation and that made me laugh. I don't know why i laughed very easy. I laughed at many dry humors that my friend told. I really miss posting this kind of post on my blog. Really. 

And i am listening to The Scientist from Coldplay. A song that can always welcome you to the darkest and saddest memory of yours. Am still wondering why it is titled The Scientist. My friend ever told me that the answer is because love is too deep to be understood by common people. The ones who can understand that love is never can be easy are the ones who understand difficult things, something beyond real; the scientists




Wednesday, March 26, 2014

Bukan Kebetulan

"Cause everybody knows, that nobody really knows. How to make it work, or how to ease the hurt.
We've heard it all before, that everybody knows just how to make it right. I wish we gave it one more try.

Aryo bersenandung selama perjalanan. Bukan lagu yang asing di telingaku karena dia memutar ulang lagu ini selama hampir satu jam.

"Kita mau kemana, Yo?"

"Mau makan kan katanya," Lalu dia kembali bersenandung. 

"And I know one day you'll see nobody has it easy. I still can't believe you've found somebody new. But I wish you the best, I guess."


***

"Cronut, please," aku memesan satu dessert untuk menemaniku melewati sore ini dan cronut mungkin cocok. 15 menit kemudian, pesananku datang dan bukan hanya itu - dari sekian banyak restoran dan kafe di Jakarta dia memilih Union - mereka datang melenggang masuk ke dalam Union. Aku dan perempuan itu sempat menangkap mata masing-masing. Tidak asing.

***

"Aku ke toilet dulu, ya." Aryo pamit. Entah dia sadar aku merasa was-was atau tidak, aku tidak peduli. "Yo, mau pindah ke Monolog aja, nggak?" "Hah? Ngapain? Emang ada cronut di Monolog?" Aku sendiri tidak peduli ada cronut atau tidak disana, tapi faktanya perempuan itu tidak akan ada di Monolog karena dia sibuk makan cronut sambil melihat ke arah meja kami.

Setelah Aryo pergi, aku berjalan ke arah mejanya. Entah apa yang aku pikirkan, tapi nyatanya sudah terlambat untuk kembali dan melupakan bahwa kami tidak sengaja bertemu dengannya di dalam satu restoran.

Tidak sadar aku sudah berdiri di depannya, memandangi caranya memakan cronut sambil terus me-refresh timeline media sosialnya. Tanganku terkepal gugup. Haruskah? Lalu tiga detik ke depan seperti berjalan secara lamban, saat dimana ingatanku lari ke masa lalu. Saat Aryo pergi entah kemana, padahal aku sedang di rumahnya. Ingatanku kembali lari ke satu hari sebelumnya. Saat Aryo pulang malam tanpa kabar. Satu-satunya alasan ada di depanku, dia sedang memandangku.

Sekarang aku tahu betul wajahnya. Wajah yang hanya samar-samar aku ingat, saat aku melihatnya di ponsel Aryo sembunyi-sembunyi.

"Halo, Arin.."

***


Friday, March 21, 2014

Setelah Senja

It gets harder everyday, but I can't seem to shake the pain.

I'm trying to find the words to say, please stay


Dari sekian banyak lagu patah hati yang ada, dari sekian lirik-lirik nyelekit yang aku dengar, hanya ini yang pas. Yang selalu mengena setiap kali aku mendengarnya. Yang selalu membawa kenangan kembali ke dalam atmosfer. Yang ternyata bisa membuatku tersenyum berulang kali. Aku biasa menangis untuk hal-hal kecil dan bisa dibilang boros jika bicara soal air mata. 

Tapi kali ini, hanya ada rasa sesak di hati. Bukan soal ciuman yang kemarin, hanya ada rasa yang direbut kembali saat kami menatap satu sama lain, sadar ada yang salah. Sadar ada yang kurang. Sadar ada yang dipaksakan. 

Tapi kali ini, hangat yang sempat menjalar di hati karena merasa dicintai kembali, pergi seketika saat binar matanya menatapku, seperti meminta maaf. Membawa rasa sakit yang sama saat dia bilang, "Aku mau tunangan, Rin." Saat yang sama ketika dia bilang, "Namanya Astrid," di saat yang sama pula ketika aku tersenyum hanya untuk meyakinkan dia bahwa aku akan baik-baik saja. Hanya untuk membuatnya pergi tanpa menoleh ke belakang. Karena aku tahu, kami memang tak akan pergi kemana-mana. Aku tidak akan pernah jadi yang nomer satu di daftarnya. 


And I know one day you'll see nobody has it easy.

I still can't believe you've found somebody new.
But I wish you the best, I guess.

Monday, March 17, 2014

Suatu Sore Untuk Nostalgia

"Kamu sayang nggak sih sama Arin, Yo?" Mama bertanya saat aku mengantarnya arisan. Aku tersenyum, saking bingungnya harus memberikan ekspresi seperti apa, aku menjawab "Ya sayang, Ma. Kok gitu nanyanya?"

"Mama kan mau yang terbaik buat kamu. Yang bisa jagain kamu buat Mama." jawab mama sambil menepuk pundakku. "Arin bisa jagain aku kok." Aku jadi defensif.

"Arin kan nggak seiman sama kamu, Yo."

"Kok jadi bawa-bawa iman-iman segala sih, Ma?"

"Ya Mama cuma mau yang terbaik buat kamu, kok. Itu aja." Tandas Mama. Sisa perjalanan kami habiskan dalam diam. Apakah akan sesulit itu? 

***

"Hoi, Aryo. Kok diem aja kamu? Mau nonton film apa?" Suara Arin membawaku kembali ke dalam ruang tunggu bioskop. "Ini aja deh.." Aku menunjuk film superhero yang baru tayang dua hari lalu.

"Rambut kamu udah panjang, ya.." kataku sambil menjumut beberapa helai rambutnya. Arin hanya tersenyum tanpa bilang apa-apa. "Kamu kok kurusan? Diet?" Tanyaku lagi. "Nggak kok."

5 menit kami duduk di ruang tunggu itu dan tidak ada yang bicara seakan kami tidak pernah kenal satu sama lain.

***

"Kamu nggak mau masuk juga, Yo?" Tanya Mama setelah kami sampai di sebuah restoran jepang di daerah Senopati. "Nggak ah, Ma. Ngapain?" "Mama mau kenalin sama temen Mama.. Ayo dong.. Masa gitu aja nggak mau?" Rajuk Mama. Seperti biasa.

Akhirnya aku iyakan permintaan kecil Mama. Yang aku tidak tahu, permintaan sederhana itu berakhir dengan terjebaknya aku dalam pertunangan dengan menantu idaman Mama. Namanya Astrid. Sore itu dia memakai pakaian serba pastel dengan kerudung bunga-bunga yang diikat sedemikian rupa. Entah kenapa Astrid membuatnya enak dilihat.

"Astrid.." dia tidak menjabat tanganku yang terlanjur menggantung saat kami berkenalan. "Oh, maaf..." kataku canggung. Tidak sampai satu jam kami mengobrol, Mama dan Tante Kirana sudah menjadwalkan pertemuan kami berikutnya. Sial.

***

"Arin, maaf ya yang tadi.." Kataku saat perjalanan pulang. Arin diam saja.

"Rin.. Maaf ya.." Kataku lagi.

"Aku nggak apa-apa, kok." Jawab Arin akhirnya. Aku tahu dia tidak baik-baik saja.

Sesampainya di rumah Arin, dia pamit. "Makasih ya diajak nonton hari ini. Kamu take care, ya Yo."

Entah apa yang merasukiku, tapi aku mencegahnya keluar dari mobil. "Bentar, bentar. Kamu jangan keluar dulu."

Arin menatapku bingung. "Kenapa?"

"Karena..karena ciuman tadi nggak bercanda. Karena aku mau kamu. Karena aku sayang kamu. Karena aku capek harus bohong terus sama Astrid, sama Mama."

Arin tersenyum. "You will be fine, Yo. Makasih ya buat hari ini."

Dan aku duduk diam di belakang stir masih mencerna yang barusan Arin katakan. Bagaimana bisa aku baik-baik saja jika orang yang aku harapkan bisa ada disini mendukungku melenggang pergi tanpa basa-basi?


Saturday, March 15, 2014

Go Preppy




She happens to be my funny friend, she just started her blog. And she has this unhealthy addiction to oxford shoes and Taylor Swift. She doesn't always dress like this but when she does, she goes beyond. Oh, ya beside Tay and oxford shoes she also craves for ice cream. Beside her addiction to Tay and ice cream, what i know about her is she can play guitar and piano well and ukulele. That's something.





go visit her blog here

Sunny Day In Missouri



It's because the sunglasses. 

I just called rio when he was enjoying his leisure time watching people singing and playing instruments in some wide and nice garden. Actually not a garden but more like playground full of grass. And he actually moved from inside the building to the outside to show me his sunglasses which looks very good on him. And when i realised, these two photos uploaded to my social media. I think the sunglasses put its spell on me, or something. So, it is 4 a.m. i need to go to sleep, so until the next call, pal. 

Please don't break this one, okay? 

Kata Siapa

Kata siapa kamu harus pergi kalau kita beda? Kata siapa kita harus mengalah karena kita tak sama? Kata siapa kita harus mengaku kalah karena orang bilang cinta kita sulit? 

"Mama tahu kita beda, Rin.." kata Aryo sambil menatapku nanar. Aku tersenyum. Miris, cuma mau bagaimana lagi. Sakit memang, karena kami bukannya baru jalan sebulan. Entah kenapa baru sekarang orang tua Aryo bilang kalau mereka tidak setuju, setelah 1 tahun pacaran.

Aku selalu tahu ada yang salah dibalik senyum mereka, dibalik perhatian beliau yang membuat aku nyaman. Aku selalu tahu ada yang ganjil di setiap kesempatan Mama menatapku. Hasil 1 tahun pacaran membuatku bisa memanggilnya Mama. Aku selalu tahu ada yang tidak beres tiap kali Mama meminta Aryo menemaninya ketemu teman lama dengan embel-embel bawa anak masing-masing. Tapi Aryo tidak pernah cerita.

Kalau boleh jujur, akan berat untuk pergi karena kami bukan anak SD lagi yang sedang main pacar-pacaran. Atau mungkin hanya aku yang menganggap hubungan ini serius. Atau mungkin Aryo memang menganggap ini cinta monyet, cinta yang sebenarnya setelah berhasil putus dengan aku.

"Oh, gitu.. yaudah gapapa.." jawabku akhirnya.

"Terus gimana?" Aryo bertanya, melimpahkan segala tanggung jawabnya untuk menjelaskan mau dibawa kemana hubungan kami.

"Gimana apanya? Yaudah aku nggak apa-apa kalo putus. Toh kalau dilanjutin juga ga bakal kemana-mana juga kan?" Kalimat yang barusan meluncur dari mulutku hanyalah bentuk verbal dari perasaan sesak tanpa nama di hati.

"Aku yang kenapa-kenapa, Rin.."

"You will find someone.."

...

Aku tersenyum miris tiap kali mengingat terakhir kali Aryo memutuskan untuk bertemu denganku. Setelah itu bukan lagi Aryo melainkan hanya satu orang tanpa nama yang mampir blog milikku dan menyelipkan pesan singkat di setiap ceritaku tentang dia.

Dia bilang tidak rela tapi nyatanya tidak butuh waktu lama untuk menemukan seorang lain yang seiman. Dia bilang akan berjuang tapi ternyata hanya butuh setahun untuk dia menyematkan cincin pertunangan di jari manis seorang yang cocok dengan kriteria Mama.


Aku melihat lagi pesan dari Aryo semalam. Sial. Kenapa harus bilang kangen?

Mau ketemuan? 

Tanyaku dalam pesan baru. Ada ragu sejenak, tapi yasudahlah.

Sent.

Tiba-tiba nomor milik Aryo muncul di layar ponsel.

"Halo" aku menjawab cepat.

"Nonton yuk. Aku lagi mau nonton film, nih." Tanya Aryo tanpa basa-basi.

"Kamu udah minta izin tunangan kamu?"

"Apaan sih, Rin. Aku jemput ya entar jam 4. See you.."

Klik. 



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Friday, March 14, 2014

Blogging Saved Her Day

Hello you guys, today was kind of hectic, since my lecturer decided to go to war and put her students in the front row (by that i mean give us two tests in one day). And for this semester there are more practical tests than the theoretical tests so i don't study much. hehehe.

And i always have this crush that will never gone. I can't lie, i love taking pictures (i am not saying am going pro) and i do like editing photos and yesterday i finally had a chance to fulfil my delayed-thanks-to-homeworks-hobby. I am so happy to have time to doing what i love, so it made my day actually.

It's never too late to comeback and loving again. My muse for now is Maharani and you are wondering, you can go to her blog or her second post for her blog







T-shirt Mango
Black Skirt Stradivarius
Necklace ALDO
Sneaker Wedges Nike
Vest Abercrombie








Monday, March 10, 2014

Current Routine

Hey today was my first yoga class, i spent three hours at the gym and the funny thing is i took the wrong class. My friend and I supposed to take Pilates but we chose Aerobic. Yup, that was an epic fail, but i had no idea. Anyway, i can not dance so basically i just turned around and clap my hands. That was so embarrassing. Anyway, i took Yoga Class the next hour and yeah, it felt good actually. But my body hurts. I was afraid i would broke my ankle or something. And other people can do head-stand and i just sit there feeling like a whale. I think they are not even human. And i spent the last 30 minutes to do cardio. Honestly i love cardio since i know how much calories i burn. hehehe. I am exhausted, but i still have time to post something here, so generally, i am fine.

I should go to bed. Nighty night, everyone.


Friday, March 7, 2014

I Wonder How

So today is my day off, and i am spending it being potato on a bed watching tv and blogging. Yup i am doing it at the same time. I am about to watch movie that directed, written and played by Josh Radnor or you guys are more familiar with Ted Mosby from How I Met Your Mother. I already read the story online but i am honestly curious. It will be cute, i guess. So i started watching HIMYM and got to know him when i was in first year of college (kind of late, don't you think). But i always love romantic comedy kind of movies so HIMYM and I got along just fine. And i always love the idea of looking for someone who not only hold our hands and saying cute things but also do something beyond. That kind of person is the one who is worth waiting for. I thought Ted would end up with Robin but he got the better one. He got exactly the girl he wants to marry. And i really want to watch when Universe makes it happen. And the idea of how Universe flips everything up it's just mind-blowing. Can't you see? Someone is prepared for us. 


Thursday, March 6, 2014

Bunga Tidur

I happen to put this song on repeat since i watched Tulus sang it at Java Jazz 2014 last week. I really loved his performance, by the way. And Tulus nailed every song. Really, he did. And what i love the most is when he started singing Sewindu for the second last performance that evening. Sewindu never fail me. I still can feel the warm feeling when you watch something as beautiful as his performance. I tried to buy his second album two days before Java Jazz but it sold out everywhere. The first song that came from his second album titled Baru. I honestly like most of all songs in the new album. It's not too jazz for me. But some songs just don't make any sense. But still, it is worth buying. Oh and my two favourite songs are Jangan Cintai Aku Apa Adanya and Bunga Tidur. And Raisa was there. They have such a harmonised voice. I just can not believe it. They sang Tuan Nona Kesepian and All of Me from John Legend.

Until then.

Selama kulihat engkau senang,
Yang lainnya kusimpan sendiri..
Du..Dudududu.. Dudududu..
Du..du...du..du..

Sweater Weather Post

Hello everyone!
So i did change my blog's look and it looks good, i love it personally. Thanks to Ranee who taught me everything. lol

Anyway i hope this new name will last longer than i expect because i am sweater weather kind of girl. I wear sweater like most of everyday. And i do adore every kind of sweater. hehehe.