Soft Sands, Clear Water, Invisible Jellyfishes, and Dreamy Wedding

Two weeks ago, I was in my short holiday with my family. It was like more weekend getaway than a short holiday. Anyway, we went to Lombok and tried to visit as many islands as we can and we successfully went to the infamous three Gili(s) : Gili Trawangan, Meno, and Air and other virgin Gilis in the south part of Lombok. They were Gili Nanggu, Gili Sudak, and Gili Gendhis. The new Gili had me at ‘virgin islands’. I always love to explore new places and they were totally worth it, though we spent more or less an hour to go to the harbor from where we spent two nights of our four nights: Senggigi. I honestly forgot the name of the resort but it was enjoyable.

In Nanggu and Sudak, we actually found a decent resort, not too fancy, but enough, if you want to wake to sunrise and play canoe all day or simply lay down to get your sun kissed skin.

I have to mention this. So, we had lunch at the same place twice! It was called Seafood 99, it locates in the heart of the city. I personally really love seafood, so I was very thrilled to eat there twice. Hehe.

And Kain Tenun was another mesmerising souvenir. We chose to shop at Slamet Riyadhi. It was kind of pricey but hey, it’s not like easy to make the fabrics. I actually saw how they made it and it takes approximately 2 months to only put thread one by one to the machine.

Actually Senggigi has its own beaches, so if you are too lazy to go across the island, you can always spend time at the resort that actually have private beach. That will be wonderful.

The third day, we went across the islands to go to Gili Trawangan. We spent a night at Villa Ombak Sunset. Agoda actually offered us a good deal. And we were forbidden to use any transportation but Cidomu and bicycle. It was actually very fun! Strolled around the island by bicycle though the sun did blast me because I forgot to put my sunnies on. I also stumbled into a very nice wedding preparation which made me want to arrange mine as soon as I can locate my groom.  

The next day we decided to go snorkeling in the sea near Gili Meno and Gili Air. There was where I got my scars thanks to invisible jellyfishes. They were actually the nice type of jellyfish because if I dive to the deeper ocean, I will see bigger jellyfishes that can leave me with burned scars. BUT it was very relaxing, I tell you. That was the best getaway involving beach, so far.

The last resort where we spent the night was at Kuta, Lombok. I still wonder why they call that part of Lombok as Kuta. I mean, Bali has Kuta. Ah, nevermind. I actually didn’t have the chance to go anywhere because it was pretty excluded and the hotel staff reminded us that Kuta has different tradition compared to other parts of Lombok and Indonesia. So, we stayed in and the next day, I went to my morning yoga class. It’s been ages since my last yoga class it actually felt really good. Until…I almost forgot to pay. That was a real honest mistake, but still very shameful one.

Well, that’s it I guess. Getaway never felt that good. Beside jellyfishes’ sting and embarrassment, it was perfect.      

   

Late Night Thoughts: on being in denial

The current literature I read is titled The Zahir, written by Paulo Coelho. This got to be the first time I spend time reading such book. He had me at ‘letting people became their ‘Zahir’’. It also means an addiction. I don’t finish it yet, but I intend to. In that book, there’s this guy who can hear voices and convince the main character that everyone can hear voices inside them. He might hear the voice when making decisions or sometimes it just popped out into his mind which I can relate. It’s not uncommon I hear voices and I bet everybody does, yet I still can choose the wrong turn which makes me doubt the presence of the voice who should direct me to the right turn. I used to blame it until one day I mentally shut myself out from hearing that voice. Are you guys following me? If you know what I mean, just knot. 

That moment I realised I neglect the voice’s advice to not to take right turn, and here I am with the choice I have made. I always believe that there’s a higher power among us that always have reasons for everything we are now. This is like the thousandth time I talk about my love life. I believe there’s a switch button for everything. I can’t recall whether I have enjoyed the pain so much so I forgot where the switch button is or I let myself to forget. Because it’s not that I like being sad all the time and enjoy crying myself to sleep for these past three years every 5 days in a month, I am just stubborn. I don’t want to give up easily when it comes to ‘find the one’. I want to believe that’s real, you know. I want to believe I have the chance to somehow find someone whose I can call ‘the apple of my eye’ or if it’s too cheesy, it’s enough to know that he loves me too. Because it’s not only exhausting to have my puppy love unrequited, but that also makes me bitter than I already am.

I know it’s not my place to say this but sometimes it got me thinking that it’s sad to see couple hurt each other most of the time, try to compete against each other in their relationship like it was a game. Try to create drama that shouldn’t be existed in the first place. Or some couple that have major insecurities and decide to keep negative thoughts for themselves, and over think everything. I know it’s not always picnic in the park when it comes to relationship, but it doesn’t have to be a World War II. 

Gumpal Sesal Sebesar Bakso

Baca dulu: Cwie Mie Rasa Sakit Hati

Aku berpapasan dengan Eki hari ini. “Eki!” Aku menyapanya dari jauh sambil melambaikan tangan. Akhirnya dia menoleh dan membalas dengan lambai tangan, lalu kembali sibuk dengan urusannya. Sudah seminggu dan tidak ada ajakan makan cwie mie, bahkan mie goreng Bu Sum. Bukannya aku tidak peduli tapi Gamal bukan distraksi yang buruk. Tidak hanya humoris, tapi cara dia memerhatikan aku bicara ternyata lebih mengasyikan daripada pertandingan futsal ataupun basket.

“Mau kemana nih hari ini?” Tanya Gamal di depan sekolahku. Tidak ada helm cadangan karena dua hari lalu dia datang ke kosan hanya untuk memberikan aku helm baru. Untuk jaga – jaga, katanya. Karena aku akan sering naik motor. Dan malunya, aku tidak bisa menyembunyikan rasa senangku. Aku yakin, wajahku semerah buat tomat saat itu. Tidak sebanding dengan buket bunga tapi cukup untuk membuatku terkesan.

“Bakso Pak Man enak nih kayaknya.”

“Eh itu Eki. Eki!” Aku tidak yakin dia mendengar jawabanku barusan tapi aku melihat Eki menaiki sepeda motornya menuju ke arah kami.

“Eh, halo. Mau kemana?” Bukan urusanku memang, tapi responnya terdengar dingin dan acuh. Jauh beda dengan Eki seminggu lalu.

“Mau makan Bakso Pak Man. Ikut yuk!” Aku berinisiatif mengajaknya.

Eki melihatku sejenak. “Ayo.”

30 menit kemudian kami bertiga akhirnya kebagian tempat duduk dan sudah anteng dengan porsi bakso kami masing – masing. Aku pribadi penggemar bihun dan disini aku bisa makan bihun sepuasnya. Yah, setidaknya satu mangkok penuh dengan kuah bakso. Yum.

“Eki sekarang sombong masa, Mal. Nggak pernah ngajak makan mie goreng lagi.” Cetusku sambil menunggu respon lucu dari Eki. Tapi yang aku temukan hanya sungging senyum datar. “Lagi banyak tugas, Nara. Kapan – kapan ya.” Tidak ada komentar lucu dan kenyataan itu mengusik aku. Eki kenapa?

“Bentar mau nambah bakso lagi.” Kata Gamal sambil beranjak bangun dengan mangkok bersiap untuk ronde kedua. Meninggalkan aku berdua dengan Eki dan banyak sekali hening. “Lo kenapa, Ki?”

Eki menoleh ke arahku, memasang wajah bingung. “Kenapa gimana maksud lo?”

“Lo marah sama gue kenapa?”

“Marah sama elo? Ah, perasaan lo aja.”

Aku menyerah. Eki versi ‘ngambek’ bukan versi yang enak diajak bicara. Makan siang dengan Eki berakhir begitu saja saat hanya lambai tangan yang dia berikan. Tidak ada pamit. Bahkan tidak ada senyum.

“Si Eki kenapa deh?” Aku mengalihkan pertanyaan pada Gamal. Berharap dia punya jawabannya.

“Hah? Kenapa Eki?” Ah, hopeless.

“Eh, besok Sabtu jalan yuk.”

“Sabtu banget?”

“Hahaha biar kayak orang pacaran.” Goda Gamal. Tidak bisa dikatakan gagal memang. “Mau banget dikira pacaran.”

Gamal tergelak lalu berkata, “Ya mau lah. Kamu mau nggak?”

Ha? Maksudnya?

“Udah ah, pulang yuk.”

Aku tahu kodenya. Mungkin tidak pantas pula disebut kode. Itu sudah jelas dan blak – blakan. Mungkin terlalu cepat, tapi Gamal bukan kesempatan yang mau aku lewatkan. Tapi entah apa membuatku berhenti sejenak sebelum mengambil keputusan. Opini lain membuat saya mengalihkan pembicaraan. Opiniku yang lain tentang Eki mencegahku menjawab pertanyaan blak – blakan Gamal.

Lalu rasa ngilu itu datang entah darimana. 

Late Night Thoughts: on Closure

I always thought that I need closure to end an event of my life, but as time goes by the closure that is supposed to seal the deal with the past became something I enjoy doing to have another moment with my past. In other words, I did several closures to end an event. Every time I tried to just keep it one event, I had tendency to try another form of closure. That’s actually why there are always stories about my past on my blog. I wrote them so I could live the moments I had lost. It was not a good experience, to be honest but the bittersweet feeling made me always come back. The stories didn’t actually happen in real life, it was my expectation and I realized it consumed me and makes me sad all the time and expect good things start to happen instead of doing something to make it work. The thing is it’s the same way I deal with people. I honestly dislike conflict, it’s not because I can’t handle the pressure of hating people, but I hold grudges. I don’t forget easily despite all the distractions and the time I spend working on something else. It’s always going to be there. I somehow can’t forget the detail, the feelings, and the expression of those moments. I practice to ignore bad memories about rejections, conflicts, and arguments but in the end they stay in the back of my head. Remember what Sherlock told us about ‘castle of memory’. Like something you put on the Internet, though you already deleted it, it’s not going away that easy, is it? That also applies on memories and feelings I am having until now.

Funny thing is I never got that so much hatred until I joined JFW and posted that on my social media. Other funny thing is that she/he assumed I was too proud about that. She/he obviously thinks join that event only a waste of money and won’t do any good. And by posting that particular event on my social media makes me look like a bragging spoiled kid. I was surprised, clearly, since I was never that famous to have hater. I mean, come on? It only takes one event in my life to makes a person despise me very much and said rude things like that. I won’t whine and play a victim here, because I am not. And by not responding to that the way she/he would have wanted me to, I don’t give her the satisfaction to ‘hit’ me with other arguments she prepared since her first opinions about me four months ago (there was no question mark and I was quite sure questions wouldn’t sound mean like that), and open a typical dramatic fight on ask.fm. That’s low.

The best part is I tracked you down. Did you see that coming?

Now it’s a matter of choice or balls whether you want to come forward or not. Or you might want to wait until Eid Al-Fitr comes to give you bigger chance for forgiveness.

I often stay the hell out of a conflict, but you were the one who pick this fight.

So much for dealing with closure.