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Friday, May 22, 2015

Late Night Thoughts on: being a passive aggressive person

This doesnt sound really good on me, because I personally hate being labeled as a passive-aggressive person. But I do have the symptoms and I didnt realize it until I am 21 years old. Can you imagine? I never understand why I am so complicated until now. I dont express my feelings easily and I always hold back to say something I really want to say. Introvert personality with passive aggressive behavior are not the best combination. I don’t think they are in my genes, but the way I have been growing up. I am not blaming anyone. I got in this situation by myself. Yet someone said child is a blank paper, better be careful when you write in it. 

I read the symptoms in one teenage magazine, and they also said that person with passive-aggressive behavior could be difficult because they don’t actually let people know what they’re actually feeling and they hope people understand. That’s why they are so moody and can be very irritating. In my age, it’s going to be hard to heal it or fix it, because it started a long time ago since I started to think that my opinions don’t matter and it will be a waste of time to hear opinions came from me. I stopped raising hands in class, hiding my opinions in back of my head. This behavior literally holds me back. And I hate it. I don’t usually stand up for myself because I hate conflict and arguments. That’s one of the symptoms.

I should stop discussing the symptoms and start telling you how to deal with it. In arguments I can’t avoid, I usually give GOOD reasons or proof to support my arguments. Or in a discussion, instead of keep listening without contributing anything, I start making project plans, browse on the Internet to support the plans and make myself useful. It was actually not really bad when I finally contributed to one of group project. Or being in the same group with friends you don’t see eye to eye, it’s wont be a big problem because good grades are the ones that matter. The moral value is stop holding yourself back because everyone is destined to be great. It’s not comforting at first but it helps. 

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